“I had to lose first my self-respect.
And then my self-contempt.”
— Hermann Hesse
For my 25th high school reunion, we were asked, “So, what have you been doing for the last 25 years?” I went to school with a bunch of very bright high achievers. Most of them listed all their accomplishments. I, on the other hand, hoping I might find a kindred spirit, wrote, “For the first twenty years, I was trying to find myself. For the last 5 years, I have been trying to lose myself!” 34 years later, I am still working on losing myself.
What is it we need to “lose” (i.e., lose attachment to – either by trying to hold onto it [“my precious, my precious”] or by trying to get rid of it [your dark shadow])? See Almaas’s clear explanation here https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/ego-self: “Any Movement of Rejection, Choice, Desire, Motive, Hope Preference, Holding, Grasping, Trying or Effort will Separate the Self from the Simplicity of Being”. What gets in the way of your having what you really, REALLY want?
From one perspective, the ego is just a conglomeration of identities – identities that were formed early in our lives as a way of trying to deal with something that was too painful to let in. What identities are you attached to? Which are you ready to see through, to see that this identification isn’t who you really are?
These identities are the source of our reacting, especially in fear and anger, to the inner and outer circumstances of our lives. They are the source of our suffering. When there is space in our beings, when we have seen through the identities, there is no reaction. There is only Peace, Love, Joy, etc. — everything we aspire to.
“What is, is. It’s your resistance to what is, that causes your suffering. There are no exceptions. It is that Simple.”
I capitalized the “S” in Simple because True Nature is Simplicity, itself.
Identities can also spawn things like judging, avoiding, clinging, emotional freezing, and other habitual states.
Letting go of attachment to an identity is a humbling experience. The word “humble” comes from the root word “humus” — hence, being brought down to earth. Have you ever been humbled? What does it feel like? Was there a sense of freedom afterwards?
I’m excited about how rich this workshop is! I have facilitated it twice before, and have a few testimonials below.
The workshop will take place on Zoom from 9-5 Eastern Time on September 5th, with a fee of $125 – $100 with early registration received two weeks prior to the event. To hold a place for yourself, please send your payment to “Heartwork” via VENMO (preferably) @Dale-Goldstein-3, PayPal, or a check sent to Heartwork, 882 Titus Ave., Rochester, NY 14617.
Identity Workshop testimonials
Working with Identities has been very powerful for me. I am practicing taking the Identity mask off my face and I’m finding I can breathe more deeply and clearly. I can feel my heart directly, not through the stultifying mask of Identity. I can feel. — I am learning to ask ‘What is it that separates me from my True Nature?’ and in the inquiry, experiencing, for brief moments, my True Nature. — On the other side of the pain of feeling the wound that catalyzed an Identity, I am finding freedom. My heart is opening, I am finding compassion – for myself and for others. I am finding wisps of pure freedom and joy.
Doing the identity workshop, as guided masterfully by Dale, i was able to recognize, witness and see with full vision the belief systems and identities that i have attached to my whole life, and in fact been at the mercy of… this is powerful and life altering work…..
– Donna B
This workshop imparted valuable new perspective and insight on a very challenging, stubborn and long-lived identity of mine. The phrasing of the questions and the sequence of inquiry elements brought about a new level of embodied understanding and hope for me. It is a holistic deep dive that I would wholeheartedly recommend to anyone!
– Kim McNamara
This identity work is particularly powerful. It helps us see and understand the stories patterns and beliefs that we act out from in life, usually unconsciously. The exercises give us the opportunity to do a deep exploration of these, and how they impact and affect us, usually negatively, in daily life and interactions.
– Philip B